How do you move on from a heartbreak in a relationship fast? Some practical tips for moving on after heartbreak.
This blog post originally appeared on Liz Luna‘s Website meanttobelove.com. It has been republished here with permission.
“Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won’t either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.”
― Louise Erdrich, The Painted Drum
“Was it hard?” I ask.
Letting go?” Not as hard as holding on to something that wasn’t real.”
― Lisa Schroeder
“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.”
― Mark Twain
Heartbreaks drain the life out of you. You wake up in the morning thinking, “today I will forget about him, he’s not worth it”. However, as you go about your day, a song comes up that reminds you of him and you can’t help but feel the void his departure left you with.
Heartbreaks can carry on for far too long until you realize you need to move on with your life! Feeling sorry for yourself and focusing on the fact that he left does you no good. There’s a point when you’re ready to do anything to not feel the pain of his absence.
I can tell you from personal experience that I’ve, too, felt that void when a guy I dated broke up with me out of the blue. It was not until 1 year had passed by… 1 whole year, that I realized I’d been spending too much time dwelling on his absence that I forgot to take care of my well-being.
I realized that I was wasting precious time every time I thought about him leaving, or when I felt sorry for myself. When I could be using that time to reconnect with myself again.
When you experience a heartbreak, you get disconnected from your truth. That means that you feel a void within because you depend on him for love (or at least you think you do). When he breaks up with you, you naturally feel like the world is coming to an end. It takes time for us to realize that love doesn’t depend on him. Love emanates from within, and that is something no one can ever take away from you.
If you’ve recently experienced a heartbreak and are ready to move on, follow the steps I used to get past it.
How to move on from a heartbreak
1. Realize that you have the power to choose what to focus on.
Have you ever noticed that focusing on the breakup only makes you feel sad, unworthy, and sorry for yourself? A heartbreak disconnects us from our self. It is our responsibility to reconnect with our truth again once we are ready to move on.
Of course, you need time to grieve for his departure… but how long is too long? The answer is; when the pain is too much that it gets in the way of your happiness.
Instead of focusing on the fact that he left, make it a point to tender to your needs. How? Pay attention to the activities that make you feel good and do more of them. Pick up old hobbies that you forgot about before the breakup happened. Paint, draw, sing, dance, do whatever it is that makes your soul happy. The goal is to refocus your attention to yourself and your well-being.
3. What makes you happy?
Think about the things that make you genuinely happy. Is it listening to a specific song, is it going for a walk…? Whatever that may be, do more of it. Only then will you begin to reconnect with your self again.
The key to reconnecting is to pay attention to your individual needs. What is your soul yearning for? Does it want quiet time away from everyone? Does it want to travel? Does it want to dance?
Ask yourself, what will make me happy today? Listen to your inner voice and follow its lead. Only you know the answer that will unleash the happiness that’s been eclipsed with the heartbreak.
You’ll know when you’ve successfully reconnected with your self again because you’ll feel renewed, inspired, and ready for what life may bring. Whenever thoughts come up about the guy who left, you’ll think; “thank you, I now know that because of you I deserve so much better!” How empowering is it to say with confidence that you’re over him and you’ve found yourself again?
Life is too short to hold on to things that don’t serve your higher purpose. Practice putting yourself and happiness first and the rest will follow.
Image Credit: Kelly Sikkema (Unsplash)